Why didn't I just stay anonymous?

I would have thought the hardest part about knowing my mom now reads this website would be the self-censorship: the things I would stop writing about because I wouldn't want to shock or embarrass her. Well, the truth is the hardest part about my mom reading it is the mail that came a week after I wrote this: "I consider my closet full of t-shirts and blue jeans and bemoan the fact that most turn-of-the-century hobos dressed with more dignity than I do. I am basically an overgrown toddler. If they made onesies for adults, I'd probably wear them." Inside the package from my mom was a note:

"It has been a long time since I bought you underwear. . . These were $1.00 at Shipshewana. Thought you might like them."

I'd try it on for you myself, but it's a 42L, and unfortunately I'm a 38R. I like my onesies snug.