About five minutes before Octuplet Mom got her own show. . .

[scene: our living room during last night's presidential news conference]

W. Oh Obama, why are you still talking? I'm missing my stories!

J. You just forgot what it's like having a president who actually talks to the American people.

W. Change the channel!

J. What is this?

W. John and Kate Plus 8.

J. Why do they have so many?

W. Shhhh.

J. TLC. This is the same channel that had Mermaid Girl on the other night. And the one with the show about feral children and Octopus Man and Half Man Half Tree.

W. Don't forget about the Morbidly Obese Mexican. And the Duggars.

J. Bible Belt Brood. The Littlest Family. Two-headed teenager. Coma Mom. What is wrong with this channel? What does TLC stand for, The Lives of Circusfreaks? Too Little Compassion?

W. You're just jealous because Pregnant Dad has a thicker beard than you.

J. True.