Here comes the creditor. . .

Posted by jdg | Wednesday, November 14, 2012 |

Wife: What are you letting him watch in there?

Me: It's just the last scene of Predator, where Arnold gets all covered in mud for the fistfight with the alien. Every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie ends with a fistfight.

Wife: Even Junior?

Me: Especially Junior.

Wife: Isn't that movie a little violent for him?

Me: Action movies from the eighties were less violent than your average toy commercial on Nick Jr. today. It's true. I read about it in The New York Times.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: You're one ugly mother [bleep].

Me: See, it's edited for television. He says he wants to be the Predator for Halloween next year.

Wife: Don't google "child Predator costumes" unless you want to get us on an FBI watch list or something.

Me: He could have a Predator mask with a white van and a bag of candy.

Wife: Or a Predator mask with a boy scout leader uniform and a bag of candy.

Me: I could be Chris Hansen and catch him in a net.

Son: I don't want to be the Predator she's a mother so that means she's a girl. I want to be the Creditor.

Wife: . . .

Me: . . .

Wife: He could have a Predator mask and a bunch of manilla folders that say "bankruptcy filings."

Me: Good choice, kid. The Creditor is way scarier than the Predator.