During the winter, we walked past a construction site every day where the workers all wore face-masks or wool hats that left nothing exposed but their eyes.

"What are those ninjas doing?" Juniper would ask.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that the ninjas were building a casino. "They're making a special house where all the owls will live." One day I will have to explain why only chain-smoking oldsters with fanny packs full of nickels go in and out of the building. When she asks where the owls are, I'll just tell her they are up in the penthouse suites.

On Friday afternoon, when we arrived home from the grocery store for nap time, there were construction workers tearing out our front stoop with a jackhammers. This was unexpected.

"What are those ninjas doing to our house?" She asked.

We had to wait until they took a cigarette break before we could get inside. When they were done sucking on their Marlboros and we were inside, it sounded exactly like you would expect three guys with jackhammers tearing out our front stoop to sound. Her bed vibrated like one with a quarter slot in a fleabag motel. Juniper just sat in my lap sobbing.

"What are those ninjas doing to our house, dada?"

I had no idea myself. I just held her in my lap for what would have been the duration of her nap. Damn, I thought. All those months of ninja goodwill, completely down the drain.

1. Elmo
2. Baby Ernie
3. Mama and Juney together
4. Penguin at zoo
5. "Inky" from Kurekure Takora
6. Juney in her own diaper
7. Jesus
8. Charlie Chaplin
9. Wild Thing
10. Green Ninja
11. Logan Summers

This month's edition of children's books that you wish celebrities would write: "Come Sail Away" by Styx. I was a one-year old when this song was released in 1978, but my parents must have played it a lot because I freakin' love it, man. It's the kind of song that should conclude every drunken wedding. But have you ever thought about the lyrics? I think it would make a great kid's book: arena-prog-rock pirates, ninjas, robots, angels, aliens. That is the stuff children's books are made of.

Okay, I am taking nominations for future editions of children's books you wish celebrities would write. It doesn't have to be musicians, just celebrities who don't suck, or, like Styx, who do suck but are awesome for complicated ironic reasons (like mustaches). Also, here is the flickr set with downloadable images.