Daughter of Local Cheapskate Excited to Receive Christmas Clothing that Doesn't Smell Like Chain-Smoking Thrift Store Pubic Lice

Excited Local Girl. No one has ever worn this before?

Grandmother. It's brand new. You can wear it right now.

Excited Local Girl. We don't need to wash it first? Are you sure it doesn't have bugs or germs on it?

Grandmother. I'm sure.

Excited Local Girl. I'm going to put it on right now!